DATELINE-NY 1/30/10
Okay, this is totally not my fault. Having given up shoes for New Year's I still need to chew things- nature
abhors a vacuum. So I've been looking for other things to chew. Thankfully, Hal has heeded the literature I
brought home from Shoeholics Anonymous and has bought plenty of bones. However, I ended up chewing his remote.
Again- not my fault. Here's a pic of his remote
and here's the bottom of the remote alongside a bone.
Can you tell the difference?
DATELINE-NY 1/26/10
On Sunday, after Hal took me for my afternoon walk, he told me he was going to do some work and have a pint, and
that he'd be back soon and we'd play. He does this from time to time. However, judging by the amount of time he's
gone and the size of his belly, I think he's counting his pints in dog beers.
DATELINE-NY 1/13/10
Many dogs compliment me on my shape. I've said in the past that it is all natural, and I've never used steroids.
Unlike some athletes, I'm not about to recant that statement. I'm often asked how I got and keep my muscle tone.
I do lead an exercise class at the dog run, but that is just a general fitness class for apartment dwellers. My
own fitness regimen is far more intense. I like to call it "Random Running"
The random nature of my running, the stopping and starting excites the muscles and prevents routine for maximum results.
In fact, my running is so random I don't even know when I am going to do it. There is an aerobic component to the
routine- it is running after all, but thee is also a resistance training portion, as I am towing a couch potato.
I was going to put a package together and sell it on infomercials, but all I can sell is a dvd- you've got to provide
your own couch potato.
DATELINE-NY 1/10/10
Hey Everybody! Long time no see!
Happy New Year! I made a New Year's resolution for a contest- and won! see the details here
DATELINE-NY 12/11/09
The other day, Hal wanted to take me out for our morning walk. I'm in no particular hurry but okay. Well, we get off
the elvator and when Hal opens the door I feel an icy chill- and what's worse is it's raining. I'm thinking- no way I'm
going out there. So I stop. Hal goes out the door and it closes on my leash- disaster averted.
That is until Hal turns around and opens the door. He tugs on the leash until I come out- its attached to the collar
on my neck that's a lot of leverage. I circle back around to the door and tell him to open it. He tugs the leash again.
I circle back to the door again- he doesn't think he's taking no for an answer. I sit and tell him in no uncertain terms
that I am not going anywhere. He tells me nature is calling- I answer "take a message."
DATELINE-NY 12/8/09
I spent several days over Thanksgiving with Bill, Kristi, and Fiona. I hadn't seen Fiona in some time, and I guess it made me
a bit nostalgic. Two years ago, when I first joined Bill's Pack- well I should mention that Hal refer's to it as Bill's pack
and Bill probably does, too, but all the dogs called it Fiona's pack.
Fiona is a charismatic leader. Bill wondered why I didn't "take her". Hey I was a puppy and she was in charge. I was new
and it was important that I show my respect. Sure, It's my pack now, but that's because Fiona moved on and I did my time
as her Consigliere
DATELINE-NY 11/18/09
Hal got an e-mail from the AKC the other day- that's American Kennel Club. They are offering membership in what they
call AKC Canine Partners- which is their division for non-purebred dogs. Despite paperwork which calls me a an
Amirecan Staffordshire mix, I'm a purebred American Pitbull Terrier. The AKC doesn't recognize us- but that's okay I
don't recognize the AKC.
I also happen to be a purebred American Staffordshire Terrier- we're the same dog. However breed specifications don't
allow for a red nose- so the next time there's a storm and they need a sled pulled don't call me.
DATELINE-NY 11/1/09
Okay, so yesterday was Halloween. People get dressed in costumes. Kids go around shouting "Trick or Treat!"
This is silly. I have no idea what trick means, but there is no "or treat" there is only treat! I had this Idea that
I would write "Poodle" on a piece of Oak Tag and that would be my costume.
DATELINE-NY 10/24/09
So this morning I helped Hal bring in his laundry. I am thus entitled to payment for my work. Now, around the corner
from the laundry is a pet shop- so we go to get me treats. There's the weirdest looking dog I've ever seen! (ed. note
It's a cat) Now I wanted to play, but this weird dog flicked its tail in a manner that suggested it was annoyed- who
flicks a tail? Tails are for wagging!
DATELINE-NY 10/14/09
I am a professional "Good Dog"
By that, I mean I get paid. If I am doing something that elicits a "good dog" from Hal, I expect payment. Likewise,
when I do something that in the past has resulted in a "good dog" I expect payment. Apparently, Hal hasn't gotten the
memo, or maybe he doesn't realize that payment terms are T.O.D. (Treats On Delivery). Hal sometimes disagrees when I
let him know that payment is due. I won't say he's a bad negotiator, but he ends up paying on over 90% of disputes.
DATELINE-NY 10/3/09
So today there was a blessing of the animals at St. Francis Xavier Church. People assume I'm Jewish because Hal is and he's
my daddy. Hal is not my daddy- my daddy was a Pitbull! Personally, I don't have a religion. I mean I believe in Dog, er, God,
Well Dog too. What I mean is that I believe that God created Dog in his Mirror image. I also believe that God gave us People
to supply us with treats. Hal says that beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. I believe that treats are
proof that Dog loves him, well, this dog at least, and I want him to keep me happy.
Now, I didn't receive communion, whatever that is, at the church. Hal did come through with the treats. Then we went to a street fair
and I got my Chicken Satay!
DATELINE-NY 9/25/09
PLOGGING FROM THE BURBS!!!
Okay, so I'm not exactly plogging from the burbs. I went out there with Hal last Saturday. Hal's breed of human is called Jewish.
I can't tell the difference except to note that that's why we went to Long Island. We went to Long Island so Hal could go to
Temple with Family in the morning and have a ritual dinner in the evening. That'd be a long time to hold it in, so Hal brought
me out with him. It's nice out there. Lots of trees and grass and peace and quiet.
Some of Hal's family have serious issues, because they made me spend part of the day outside. I believe that the reason they
don't like me is largely bias- I'm a Pitbull. They are not afraid of dogs, just dogs that aren't theirs. So Prissy Lhasa Apso
Bailey who growls isn't scary, and I, who don't growl am scary- what's with that.
It was not fair and no amount of treats could make me happy under those circumstances. I understand that Hal has family obligations
but I'm family too.
DATELINE-NY 9/8/09
So we were out for our morning walk, and there were some guys sitting on benches eating. Naturally, I'm curious. However, before I have
an opportunity to investigate, Hal tugs the leash and says, "That's not Molly food." Okay, time out.
Rule number 1: IT IS ALL MOLLY FOOD!!!!
This is true whether it is actually food or not.
Actually, I operate from a presumption of food. This means that everything is presumed to be food until proven beyond a reasonable
bellyache to be not food.
DATELINE-NY 8/29/09
People are funny animals! In recent weeks, Hal has occaisionally grabbed a few treats, lowered one of his top legs and said, "Paw".
I had no idea what this game was about, but it was as boring as all the games we "played" at obedience school. Sit, stay, down, BORING!
So I finally get so sick of this that I raise my front leg and wave him off. The most amazing thing happened! Here I was waving my front
leg to tell him "Go away, I'm bored!" and my front leg landed in his top leg and he said good girl and gave me a treat! Now I don't think
he gave me the treat for telling him where he could go- I think it had to do with my leg meeting his- maybe this is what the paw game is!
Like other human games I think its about a power trip.
DATELINE-NY 8/25/09
Long Time No See!!
I hope you have been enjoying the summer- I know I have! But I am angry that Hal has been enjoying it too much to type in my posts. If his hand didn't feed me I'd bite it!
Anyway, let me teel you about the past few weeks. The city shut down one of their long streets to encourage exercise, and Hal needs it. So the first time they did it,
I took Hal on a long walk all the way down to the Brooklyn Bridge. Do you want to buy it? I here it's for sale. I wanted to go across the bridge because there's a rumor
that a tree grows in Brooklyn and I want to piddle on it. Ah well.
The following week we went rollerblading. To be accurate, Hal went rollerblading alongside me. I may have mentioned that Hal is, by his own admission, a couch potato.
But, they had rollerblades for rent (for free!) and bless his heart he rented a pair! We didn't go far because we started going uphill. Hal realized that eventually
he'd have to go downhill, and his rollerblading skills are non-existant. For a little while though, he got up to my running speed, which was great! I'm sure people
were entertained watching Hal try to keep his balance, but I've got to give him credit- he didn't fall.
I was expecting another attempt at rollerblading this past week but the damp streets made that impossible so I took Hal to the north end of the long trail (ed note:
72nd St) We stopped at a cheese tasting- Yummy! Hal learned that I'm not a fan of Balloons.
Hal says that I'm supposed to have an opinion about the Eagles signing Vick, but without knowing too much I'll just recall that my version of fantasy football involves
Vick and a bottle of A-1.
DATELINE-NY 7/4/09
Happy 4th of July! Down with King George!
I wore my Stars and Stripes bandana today ecause I am an American Pitbull Terrier with a capital "A"! Does anyone spell American with a lower-case "a"? What am I talking about? I can't spell anyway. I'm a dog.Another reason to be patriotic is that I was named for Revolutionary War Herione Molly Pithcer.
(Editors note: This is not true. Although there was a Revolutionary War herione Known as Molly Pitcher. She was given a citation by General Washington and attained the rank of Sergeant.
Read more about her here.
NEWS! NEWS! NEWS!
I now have an e-mail adress: it's Molly@mollynyc.com
Please send me mail- the only things I get right now are ads for Vidogra!
